So I bumped into my Primary 1 / Primary 2 teacher the other day. I hadn’t seen her in abt 15 years now, but recognised her immediately as we crossed paths.
She was in a rush becos it was past 7am and she needed to get to school for morning assembly (hehe, good times), but she was still kind enough to acknowledge me, and the times when I used to be her student.
Ngl, I dun think she actly remembered me. But I can’t blame her, it’s been so long since then. Like a decade and a half. The world was a different place then.
I miss dat lady, and I felt rlly warm and fuzzy when I saw her after so long. Back then, I used to think of her as the nice lady who always made me feel at ease. Those feelings reemerged upon seeing her again. Had our interaction been longer, I might’ve gotten emotional. So, at least I got to keep my cool, eh 😎.
For the sake of dis story, let’s call her Ms Teng Tang Jing, or Ms Jing for short (hehe).
I rmb her being rlly chill. Even as a little kid, I tot she was more easy-going than most grown ups or people older than me I’ve interacted wif up to dat point in my life.
Back then, I used to be a very timid child. I was always afraid of messing up and getting shouted at. So I always tend to just keep to myself, comply wif everything and not do or say anything which might get me into trouble. Dat led me to being a shy and quiet Hua Ze Lei.
Ofc being a boy, in dis society, dat was simply not allowed. It was a sign of weakness, and incompetency. I had to force myself to speak up more. I was never all dat comfortable doing so, but it’s a skill I’ve acquired, I guess.
Ms Jing however, didn’t rlly see it dat way. Nah, I dun think she minded my bashfulness at all. I mean, look at wat she wrote in my report book:
I rmb going up to the teacher’s desk used to always be a challenge for me. The thought of catching attention, and accidentally saying the wrong things, was pretty scary for my 7-year-old self. Even with things like asking to go to the toilet, I’d hold back on. I rmb peeing my pants becos of it once, which was hmmmm, prolly not my proudest moment 😬.
BuT, I never felt such fear when going up to Ms Jing. She never rlly shouted, nor ever rlly got angry wif us, so dat made me feel safe wif her.
She also seemed to understand what I was saying when I spoke to her, even when I was awkward, soft, or not pronouncing my words clearly. Dat made me comfortable, eventually easing me into doing so more routinely.
Once, I accidentally spilled water on my worksheet. Just a slight miscalculation in the amount of movement of my right arm, which caused my opened water bottle to topple. Ah shit. shit. shit. shit. 😫
As u can prolly imagine, I was scared shitless, lol. I knew I had messed up. Wat was I supposed to do now? Blow dry my worksheet? I didn’t have a hairdryer. Put it under the sun? Well, I could, but it was gonna take some time.
Ms Jing was right there beside me, and saw everything. I was afraid of receiving whatever wrath she had in stored…
Then she just laughed, and said dat I looked like I could use another worksheet, while handing me one.
Huh. Yea, actly. Thanks. I didn’t realise the solution was so simple. And the fact dat she said it so calmly… Well, I guess I wasn’t exactly hiding my panic well. So, perhaps it was a calculated move by her.
There were other things, like her subtly showing she genuinely cared abt us.
A lot of lessons wld be boring, but she’d do her best to keep us entertained. Telling us silly things and stories every now and then. Dat helped make things less of a snooze-fest.
She’d also put in effort in our moral education lessons, and made sure we’re engaged wif them. I rmb some of them lessons today, oddly enough.
“Do you see an old lady or young lady? Oh, you see things differently? Well, it’s actually a matter of perspective, it doesn’t mean that you’re wrong. Both things can actually be right.”
Damn bro, shit like dat man, mind-blowing stuff for our juvenile brains.
Essentially, my mind opened up during those formative years. I came to realise not all adults are scary and detached. Engaging wif others didn’t seem so bad once I came to realise dis.
In a way, it also sorta helped shaped my approach to life. Not everything has to be boring and taken so seriously. Maybe making mistakes isn’t so bad either, cos we can laugh abt it afterwards.
It’s oso a nice feeling to uplift others. I can see why Ms Jing puts in the effort to do so. I’ve come to realise it’s not actly an easy thing to do. Being an actual “chill” person isn’t as simple internally as it may seem in the outside.
My later primary school years made me realise that. That was due to there not being anymore Ms Jing to provide such comfort.
Ngl, I struggled quite a little during dat time. Ofc, it wasn’t something I cld say openly back then. Everyone just assumes the child to be happy and easily adaptable, considering how simple life is at dat point. So I did my best to adapt to those new expectations.
At the same time, I still always truly stuck to how I was initially raised. Even if such an easy-going personality and outlook isn’t the most optimal for high achievements, it wasn’t something I was willing to discard. It was wat I always thought was right.
Becos I think its worth holding on to. U never noe who ur helping feel better abt themselves, thru just being an open-minded dude. U never noe who you’d unknowingly influence either, who in-turn might, or try their best to, do likewise.
And I think das a real good thing to happen…
25.09.2025
Leave a Reply