{ Dream Aesthetic }

I rmb when I was in Tokyo a while back, and was in a Donki. I saw dis very intriguing item, and I couldn’t make out what it was. So I stepped closer, and picked it up, and inspected it curiously like some sorta historic artifact…

…. only to realise it was a sex toy.

So I played it cool and left…. and probably looked not-very-cool in attempting to do so… Made the two ladies beside me giggle at least… 🤦🏼

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As I stepped outside the store I rmb catching glimpse of one of these posters:

Somehow I felt oddly nostalgic seeing dat. Not becos I ever been in a host club. Nor have ever worked as a host….. though low-key sometimes I think would’ve somehow ended up in one, if there were such opportunities here 🤔

Anyways, there was a time when I thought these Japanese pretty boys were the peak of male beauty. And dat time includes now as I still believe dat is wat peak handsome looks like.

Tbf, I was exposed to a lot of Japanese media growing up. J-dramas, J-pop and Tokusatsu definitely skewed my idea of beauty in a way.

But I mean, how can u blame me when ur protagonists and singers look like dis:

Ofc I wanted to look like my heroes. I wanted to become an entertainer like them, too. And ofc looking like them became sort of a minimum requirement 👍🏼

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There is a very fine line between wanting to look like a pretty J-pop dude, and looking like a host….. and I’m always crossing dat line, hehe. Like I straight up wld love to look like a host, lol.

Ofc I dun actly want to do wat they do. But if I cld at least look like they do, I think I wld be very happy 😊

Ngl, dat motivates me enough to do my skincare everyday. My Hada Labos, my vitamin c and face cream, my semi-matte hair stuff, body lotion.

….. and sometimes my eyeliner…… maybe a touch of bb cream…… and some rose-coloured tinted lip gloss 💄💋

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Ahem….

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Looking back, I may not have achieved my unrealistic childhood dream of becoming a Johnny’s boy:

But I believe I am still youthful enough to make something, erm….. close enough to dat (?), come true 👍….

I hope…

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25.09.2026