Second day of my mandatory internship and it’s been an absolute nightmare. U noe something’s wrong when u feel nauseous just going there, and it ain’t becos of nerves.
Right off the bat, I noe I’m a terrible fit for a country club “sports admin”. I have no passion for it, not someone who can focus for extensive periods, am not a robot, and from prior experience, pretty bad at coping wif a corporate 9-6 job. And now it’s 9 to 7??? (wif quite a few weekends being eaten up too 🙃🫠🥲)
It feels abit too similar to my NS experience (as a staff officer), which I absolutely despised. Except it’s worse. I tot I was done wif it for good, but apparently NOT.
Yea, I did learn some useful office tips and skills during those approximately 2 years, despite it being a depressing journey. But dat was back then. The job scope and soft skills I’m expected to acquire now all sound pretty identical to wat I’ve already learnt to do.
Besides dat, there’s oso the dead-end job vibes, the me working too slow where I’m expected to be fast AF like everyone there all the time, and having to learn abt ultra-rigid shit I’ll have to always conform to. Having to endure dis for the next 5 months sounds absolutely fking horrible. I cannot believe I’ve been subjected to dis same hell again…
Just like my NS days, I was again put into dis department / company alone. Dis means having to learn lots of shit real quick once again. It oso sucks rlly hard when the closest person to ur age there is in their mid-to-late 30s. I rlly rlly rlly hate having to put up dis “work” persona just to seem more competent and professional in dis sorta settings.
It oso hurts dat they initially gave me the wrong reporting date (originally the 23/3), and I’m instead supposed to turn up now (the 9/3). I genuinely tot I had 2 more weeks of freedom. Planned my days and everything. But unfortunately, gone just like dat…
Meanwhile my classmates (who actly start on the 23rd) are currently on a class trip overseas. Just seeing them together and having a blast makes me very emotional, as their messages will pop up while I’m being confined to my desk, struggling wif the work dat keeps piling on. They even sent me a video note wishing me well at one point. I genuinely started tearing up when I watched dat 😢🥺.
Times like dis I resort to looking back on better days, and the happiness I’ve taken for granted, by scrolling thru my gallery…
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Just a few nights ago my friends and I went to eat dinner after dinner (lol), at Woodlands. While waiting for one of them to make a short stop at her house, the rest of us just chilled abt at the playground and nearby area. The above photo was taken while I was lying on top the monkey bars 😋. A wonderful night at a wonderful place, wif wonderful ppl 💕
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Last week was oso my final session wif the kindergarten kids. It was low-key sad AF for me… I hope the children dun feel the same way 😞. The mornings were definitely quite tiring, but also very rewarding. I’ll rlly miss them wonderful bunch of characters 🐯🐼🐰. I hope they stay joyful and silly, while being ever so actively fun-loving ❤️. Even if I’m not there to see it anymore on Tuesdays 😞😭😭.
Might switch over to early childhood education once I’m done wif sports. I like to believe I’m suited for it…
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Finally, quite the results for these bums the past few weeks. Somehow playing a hella lot better when they’re essentially guaranteed relegation. Maybe it’s the pressure off of them…. albeit a very costly way to do so…
Anyways, the above was definitely the best one off dis purple patch. My friend summed it up best:
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Not gonna lie, I’m getting sadder reminiscing on those stuff dat happened just last week. It now seems so far away.
I always like to keep moving forward. But when the forward looks bleak, it rlly kills me inside…
Usually my posts end on a positive note. Dis one doesn’t. It’s just terrible. Currently dreading sleep knowing I’ll have to wake up to another day…
10.03.2026
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