So I turned to my left and right, to make sure I wasn’t in some, u noe, “Peter Parker in Spiderman 1” kind of situation…
But dis made me more confused, as I didn’t recognise any of these women.
They were all in their swimwear, and some even had pretty mean-looking tattoos, which juxtaposed wif their seemingly friendly smiles.
In addition, there were oso like 2 stern looking dudes wif them, glaring at me, which didn’t exactly feel welcoming. Dis was most definitely not a crowd I was familiar wif.
Still, I tried to be polite.
“Hi, where are you from?” one of them asked.
What? Was I supposed to tell them I’m from Yishun? Dat doesn’t rlly make any sense. Or was I supposed to tell them which part of the beach I came from? Or maybe, they thought I wasn’t a local?
So I went wif the third option and said I was from Singapore. Thankfully dat turned out to be correct, as they tot I was some foreigner from Taiwan. Which now dat I think abt it, makes no sense. Like how do u even differentiate an average Taiwan man from the average Singapore man u happen to see?
So I just smiled. Just a case of some curiosity, right? So, I attempted to leave.
Before I cld even take a step, they hit me wif more questions. “Why are you here?”, “It’s hot, isn’t it?”, “Ooh you’re alone?”. All in their pseudo-gentle tone, which forced me to keep answering.
I was starting to get a lil frustrated, not gonna lie. I tot to myself, wat is dis? What’s going on here? Why do u have so many questions?? Wat do u all want from me? I’ve got a rugby game I needa attend to, chop-chop…
Ofc, I didn’t say dat out loud. But I started being less wordy wif my responses. Yea, dat passive aggressiveness shld do the trick.
Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to take the hint. The questions kept on coming like a neverending carousel. They weren’t letting me go >:(
Then came the turning point, as they asked: “Come here ah, sit here with us”, as they gestured to between themselves.
Hellll nah, bro! I ain’t sitting wif u…
Eh wait a minute… am I being hit on?
OmO, o my days, wat do I do?? The realisation hit me like a truck, and I actly stumbled, in the dorkiest way possible.
But wait, dats impossible. I ain’t no babe magnet, I noe dat for sure. If anything, I am the opposite side of it. A “babe repellent”…
So I thought and thought, what else could this possibly be?
And so my mind did it’s thing, and thru some stupid logic, eventually got me to the conclusion dat, they were some kinda organ harvesters, reeling me in so dat they cld steal my kidneys.
Yea, dat made sense. I mean, at the time it did. U can’t blame me, I’ve seen dis happen in movies. There was oso nothing to clearly disprove dat possibility.
There were 5 + 2 of them, and one of me. I tot of running away, but my legs felt stuck to the ground for some reason. Thankfully I managed to maintain a cool face, which masked my internal stress.
Then came another question, the most crucial. The one dat gave me the chance to flee: “How old are you?”
Without thinking twice, I said intensely, “I’m 18!”.
I dunno why I didn’t go wif 17, but I think 18 had the same effect. I dun think they’d wanna have an 18 year old dude around wif them. Don’t wanna wake up in the morning feelin’ like P Diddy, do u?
Sure enough, it did. They told me to “F- off”, in a way dat was a lil rude. I didn’t appreciate their tone, but nonetheless, was smiling wif glee at my not-so-cool-but-effective escape.
Yea, das rite, lemme go back to doing my “18-year-old” things, ye? I’ll see u again never, I hope…
So I returned to the rugby place, and found Teddy. Didn’t tell him wat happened, but I stayed close to him and his crew, and just stared into space.
Yea, I didn’t rlly wanna wander around by myself after dat…
Upon reflection, I started to think they probably weren’t organ harvesters. Perhaps they just wanted to get to know me better. Perhaps they were flirting. I had mixed feelings.
On one hand, garnering the attention of 5 ladies is an undeniable W. Like damn, how did I manage dat? I’d like to think dat means I have some hope in the looks department, ye? Which is some self-esteem boosting shit, whether I’d acknowledge it or not.
On the other hand, I do realise dat I handled the situation like a complete virgin. Perhaps I shldnt have thought so much, and perhaps been more suave in my interaction wif them…
At least I managed to look confident, dats another small win to take away 👍
BuT, in my defence, things get scary when you’re being outnumbered 5:1. I think my fear was justified, eh? Like imagine if the genders were reversed:
So, I shld prolly work on my game, thru more real life applications of moves learnt from like, u noe, J-Dramas and stuff.
At the same time, I’d like to reserve those skills, not for random situations at the beach. But only in a special and safe kinda environment…
06.10.2025
Leave a Reply