I’m gonna be real and say dat exercising isn’t exactly the most joyful thing in the world. Sometimes it’s fun, yes. But most of the time it’s a necessary evil dat we need to overcome, so as to not become too overweight or unhealthy.
For me personally right now, I think just keeping my BMI below 23 is a good standard to uphold.
Thankfully, I have reached a point where I feel worse when I don’t exercise. Dis sorta motivates me to do some workout here and there, so at least I won’t feel like a complete slob.
Some days however, such motivation isn’t enough. The laziness is too strong to overcome. The magnetic force between me and whatever surface I’m lying down on is weirdly stronger than usual. Those days I require extra motivation.
To overcome this, I have to rely on my secret weapons. My trump cards. These come in the form of YouTube videos dat help pump me up.
I noe some people would drink energy drinks and pre workout and all dat good stuff. Gives them the rush needed to start their workout.
Personally, I don’t use such products. I think they’re a bit excessive, and cost money that I don’t rlly wanna spend, lol. I think the YouTube videos have the same effect, while being free.
So there’s dis one specific video I will turn to get my energy levels rising:
Gareth Bale VS Maicon Tottenham 3 Inter 1. Originally by MilanKakaBaros. Re-uploaded by 7777lesha in 2011.
It’s a MV of the 2010 Champions League fixture between Tottenham Hotspur and Inter Milan, in which our titular character Gareth Bale shined like a diamond.
Everything about dis video is perfect. The early 2010s YouTube quality. The Coldplay instrumental song in the background, which occasionally fades to play the commentary. Champions League football. Gareth Bale. It’s absurd how fast that man is.
You know the opposing defender in the video, Maicon, is usually pretty good at doing his job. But Mr Bale here, with his insane athleticism, just makes him look like a washed-up old man.
There’s just something about watching him here sprinting past all the opposition players, then launching the ball towards the striker in front of the goal, with a swing of his left leg.
It’s hypnotising. It’s majestic.
The song Clocks playing also helps with the effect. In fact, everytime I hear that song now, I automatically think of this video.
It just looks cool man. Makes me feel cool too. Makes me wanna do it. How hard can it be? I just gotta run really really fast.
Then swing my left leg at my ball. Dats it, right? I’m pretty sure I can. Let me try it out.
Ok wait a minute, I don’t randomly have 21 guys to play a match with right now. No worries, I’ll just pretend I’m in a game, then.
So I’ll just run really fast past some imaginary defenders, then cross my ball towards an imaginary Peter Crouch (the striker). Perfect, all set. Let me try it out on the field.
So here I am at a big patch of grass. The weather’s hot as hell, but I don’t care. Time to see if I’m all that…
Alright, I’m dribbling the ball. Now accelerating. Alright time to cross it…and…boom…
Yo hang on, dats a shit cross. It’s too low. Ain’t no way dats going to Peter Crouch’s head. Let me try again.
Ok just dribble, dribble, accelerate, time to cross it…oh shit, no wait I’ve kicked it too far during my run. My left leg is not long enough to reach it. Wait no, now I’m kicking the air like an idiot. Damn, dats some aura points deduction right there 😔
So I try and try again. Sprinting over and over again. The occasional tripping on my own foot, which thankfully nobody saw (I hope…)
Eventually I do sorta get the hang of it. I mean, it feels right, at least.
See, I can be just like Gareth Bale. If you just pretend there are actual defenders here, it’s essentially the same thing, right?
Oof, wait a minute, I’m getting tired now. Sweating a lot too. How does he do this for 90 mins?
But hang on… dats actually a good thing. Yes, I got myself exercising! Dis was exactly what I was hoping would happen.
In trying to prove myself to be the reincarnation of prime Gareth Bale, I managed to get myself out and moving about. Damn, dis feels fun too. Huh, guess dis is one of those days where working out isn’t so bad.
Ok, maybe it’s not so hard to get myself to exercise. Just gotta trick myself by watching an established athlete, and pretending I’m them. A couple of sports videos is enough to do the trick.
Some movies might help too. Perhaps that’s why old sports movies like Rocky were so successful. They were the original YouTube motivational sports videos.
Fake it til you make it they say. In dat case, I might just fake it til I become Tottenham’s new speedy left-back…. even if it’s just in my imagination…
29.08.2025
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