Most urinals here have a little fly or spider sticker near the bottom of it to help us dudes aim better. It was supposedly invented by some genius Dutch guy in the 90s, who understood the simplicity of men, and how to stop them from spraying their piss all over the place. I find that amusing, and sometimes I wonder how much of the world’s annual finances go to pasting or printing dat sticker on urinals all over the world. Though likely mostly first world countries. The poorer countries prolly have more important problems to worry about than poor aim. Just random thoughts u get whilst taking a piss, yea.
As I go to wash my hands afterwards, I take a look in the mirror and give myself a little touch up. Gotta look good for the strangers who don’t care, u noe.
But something was a little off. Hmmmm, I was looking ugly as shit today, eh. Normally dat would be abit of an exaggeration, but I could confidently say I was looking significantly subpar today. Hmmm wat are these lil pimples I’ve never noticed before. And are these premature wrinkles? Is dat my scalp I see? Am I balding? Has my time come? In my innocent act of washing my hands after peeing, I am suddenly forced to have an existential crisis.
But then I looked around and thought, ayo, somethings just not right. To put it bluntly everyone seemed to be looking a little below-average, or the standard of what im used to. Like even the uncle beside me seemed a lil flabbergasted by his reflection.
As I continued washing my hands, while watching the uncle with my peripheral vision, who’s attempting to polish up wif his trademark orange comb in his pocket, it got me wonderin, if perhaps it wasn’t something wrong wif me. So to test dis hypothesis, I went to another toilet to take a look at myself. I ensured it was a toilet outside the mall where the original toilet was.
As I entered the new toilet in my state of denial, I was quickly comforted by the handsome man staring back at me in the mirror. Ok, maybe handsome’s abit of an overstatement, but u noe dis is my story and I’ll use wtv adjectives I want.
Anyways, I wasn’t the balding and wrinkly 35 year old man I saw in the previous toilet (no offence to 35 year olds, I believe dats when I will get ugly, not all of u 🙏). I was looking like a regular looking dude my age, wif the usual several minor but ignorable skin issues, and wif soft, sexy hair (again, my story).
That got me to the conclusion dat the previous toilet in fact, was the problem. The lighting wasn’t good man, too harsh and unforgiving, exposed and created new insecurities and weaknesses. So lesson learnt, don’t go to the toilet in dat particular mall, or at least, don’t trust what the mirrors there are telling me.
Maybe dat can extend to outside the toilet too. Perhaps everyone just has different lightings dat work best to their looks. So if u ever feel ugly, it’s prolly not ur fault. The lighting is just bad. Find somewhere else to go. I’m sure you’ll look much better at the new place, while gaining ur confidence back too.
16.07.2025
Leave a Reply