Some days you wake up feeling less fresh than usual. You wake up dehydrated and can barely open your eyes, your body feeling as though u had some kind of crazy intensive workout the day before, and ur head with a pre-installed migraine. I learnt in school its got something to do with incomplete sleep cycles and Rapid Eye Movements, or REM. Yea maybe dats God’s way of punishing us on days dat we’re Losing our Religions.
Those mornings suck, and definitely justify setting ur alarm for an additional 5 more minutes of sleep. Or 10. Or 30. Then you wake up and you’ve got abt 10 minutes to get ready for school. Ah shit… but its alright I’m up for dat challenge. Handicap 100 wif dat previously established migraine. Let’s go.
Always gotta start off wif showering, but gotta do it extra fast dis morning. So I lather myself up completely with my face wash, hair conditioner, body soap, then brush my teeth while waiting for the conditioner to do its voodoo, while blind and hoping the face wash doesnt go into my eyes, then wash everything off after I’m done. An express shower, 6 minutes is all it takes. Could’ve been 5 if I didn’t brush my teeth too hard at one point and poked my gum, which caused me to tear up in pain for a lil bit. But eh something abt building character, yea.
Ok now time to get dressed. Some days when I’m in the mood and have time, I like to play the song 아쉬운 마음인걸 (aswiun ma-eumin-geol) and pretend I am Ji Hoo from Boys Over Flowers getting ready for school. They say that its good to dress nicely when you’re heading off somewhere you are not motivated to go to, so you’ll feel good and have something to look forward to. But there was no time for any of that I had like less than 5 minutes to get ready, a low effort attire sorta day. So I applied my moisturiser, wore my sweatpants, chose and settled on my pink Korea FC jersey. Next it was time to apply my sunscreen, in front of my mirror.
4 Minutes Left
Ok I’m almost ready by now. Just gotta be done wif my sunscreen and I should be good. Ok just rub it slowly and gently all over the arms, neck, and now face. Alright time for the part near the eyes. Remember to be extra careful here so I dont get sunscreen in my eyes. But dammit I’m late I gotta hurry the hell up, so just rub it a lil faster. Aaaand now I have sunscreen in my inner eyelids. Ok just don’t blink and quickly wipe it away. Oh but wait I didnt wipe it completely off, and now my left eye stings. It’s turning red too. Haizzzzz. Well guess I’m spending my morning with only one good eye. Wonder if I have any eyepatch lying around?
2 Minutes Left
Ok lookin good, everything besides my left eye seems to be in order. Hmmm damn wait a minute the dehydration is starting to kick in abt now. Actly wait a minute I can literally see it. My lips look a lil bit flaky and drier than usual. Ok wheres my lip balm? Ah wait I forgot to buy it yesterday. Maybe I’ll just drink some water and let it hydrate and do its own thing? Nah I wanna be feeling fully fresh right now! Besides, I have a lil time to spare. Wonder if my sister has any lip balm? Let’s check out her room.
Alright found her beauty stuff. Damn wat are all these things and products? Its like stepping into foreign enemy territory. What is this… eye cream? Does it help relieve eye pain? Can I use it to fix my left eye, is that how it works? Ok no I’m getting distracted. I came here in pursuit of one thing only.
Eventually I didn’t manage to find lip balm, but did find her lipstick and lip gloss. I don’t rlly noe what lip gloss is, some kind of evolved cousin of lipstick I assumed, based on how shiny it looked. But being unsure and afraid of its powers, I avoided it.
Ok lipstick is something I was familiar wif, based on seeing women wearing it. But u noe sharing it wld be disgusting. But I oso tot dat u noe, based on wat I’ve seen, it could make for a decent substitute for lip balm, right? Wif dat in mind, I drew a thick line of it on my finger, as u wld do wif lip balm, and tried rubbing it on my lips. Dat way I wldnt actly have to apply the lipstick directly on my lips.
Hmmmmm, wait a minute, dis doesnt seem right…it’s so sticky and weird… Dis aint at all like lip balm. I think I had made a miscalculation. Upon realising dat my idea was stupid, I went to the toilet sink to wash it off.
0 Minutes Left
“Goddammit why is it not coming off??” I thought to myself in the following minutes. No matter the scrubbing force applied, the self-imposed stain on my finger and lip remained the same, like some kind of extra strong permanent marker. Ngl a little panic ensued, prolly cos I knew dat I was supposed to have left my house by now. I started cursing at myself and lipstick manufacturers during my futile efforts of removing it. I was no Ji Hoo dis morning, nah I was feeling more like Mr Bean when he was trying to clean that painting of Whistler’s Mother in the movie. Oh, dis isnt a very pleasant feeling…
30.07.2025
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